The Shores that Keep Me Afloat

My parents are my idols. My Mother and my Father; they have stood against the tyranny of life, and faced the struggles to bring forth happiness to their family. Through their long hardship, they did not stop to look back at any point. They were too busy building a life so their daughters could enjoy their futures.

And yet, through these tough times, they found it in themselves to pursue their passions. In the mid-90s, when computers were just beginning to emerge in the markets, my father acquired a large system, and he’d spend hours studying the tiny characters in DOS. The CPU came apart and was put together countless number of times. To bring his family into his passion, he introduced us to Mario, Windows and Solitaire.

My mother immersed herself in her kitchen, emerging with exotic dishes cooked out of hors of poring over cookbooks. She mastered reverse engineering of foods she liked at restaurants, for which recipes she could not find. The microwave became one of her primary tools of experimentation, the delicious outcomes of which kept the table well-stocked.

As their daughter, I should have the perseverance, the urge to fight for my passions. The pull I have towards writing should be sufficient to push me towards a career in the literary field, and yet, I find myself held back.

There’s a fear which rests within. A fear of failure, a fear of losing the current comforts. A lackadaisical attitude which pulls at my strings, keeping me from approaching my passions head-on!

There was a video released on an interview on J K Rowling recently, where she talked of the time she had reached rock-bottom. She had failed EVERYWHERE, in her own words. Personally, professionally… She was a jobless single mother, and had to turn to the one thing she knew she was good at. Writing.

Is that what is required to turn us to our passions? Utter failure? Because, the majority of the world would not be able to turn to their passions if they had a choice of struggling for their passions, or to keep living as they have. Do what you love, and you’ll never have to work another day, they say. But the shove people need to get started, that’s what’s missing.

That’s because we’re all trapped in out Comfort Zones. I, for instance, am happy in my cocoon. I write pages and pages, cram my laptop with ideas for novellas, and sigh every time I read about new authors. But to take time out and seriously approach publishers, editors or literary agents; it becomes a chore which is difficult to get completed.

I have a friend who’s crazy about acting. He’s a part of more drama clubs than I care to count, and spent over months’ worth of nights practicing for plays, where he started off in small blink-and-miss roles, to larger ones, to plays which are now entirely written around characters he portrays.

His dream is to star in Bollywood, and once, his wife showed me a drawer full of profile photos he had had taken professionally. And yet, this acting-crazy guy hasn’t sent a single photo, a single auditioning CD to anyone linked to the movie world. He’s been to Mumbai so many times, and yet, not been to a single audition. A couple years ago, his excuse was family finances. Now, he says he’s fine with his job, so why ruin it?

Comfort Zone, that’s what got in his way..! He’s still crazy about acting, still dreams of making it big in B-World, but the easiness he finds in his daily routine is just too comfortable to give up for the struggles he’ll have to put in to make it Large.

I once read that Risks are not taken by the Fearless. That, that statement was a myth. Risks are taken by Rich People who have safety nets. Because, let’s face it. If I have to throw myself into the world of Writing, I’ll have to give up my current life for one of constant struggles. I’ll have to adapt my style of writing for the one which the Publishing Houses favour. I’ll have to write on genres and demographics of the ‘popular’ variety, and not what I really love.

It’s going to be a long, hard, uphill walk to reach the pinnacle where I can write what I love. Either that, or spend hours researching publishers and pursuing them.

The Comforts outweigh the Risks. And there’s also the worst of them all. Success is not only effort and risk. It’s also Luck. I’ve dipped my feet twice in that pond, and been so spurned by Luck, despite the power my manuscripts have held, despite having an eager audience to read my books, despite putting my all in it… Failure pulled me down. I prefer to not venture out a third time…

And yet, here I am, writing about it. Writing. So long as I breathe, so long as I am able to wield a pen, my passion thrives. And along with it, so does my dream.

The tides of Love, of Need, of Want, of Passion… They dash against shores of Failure, of Fear, of Cowardice..!
And yet, the bough of Hope, of Yearn, of Dreams… It dances on the waves, Pulling at the strings of the Heart,
Shoving, Pushing, Hustling, Compelling…
To move on, riding high on the tide toward the Island of Zest, the Port of Fervour, the Ocean of Success…